Coping with Grief

The grief we feel at first cam be compared to a raging forest fire. Wild and out of control it destroys all life within its range. We are powerless to stop it as it burns and destroys - nothing will ever be good again. As the fire slowly dies down, we are surrounded by the ugliness of black charred death and destruction. But after a time, the rains come and gently carry away the soot and ashes and slowly we see small green shoots of life spring forth. And so it is with our grief - a time came when we saw signs of green life in out lives once again. It may be smiling or laughing aloud. It may be experiencing joy and happiness once for a brief time. It may be feeling an hour or day has gone by without being engulfed in our sorrow. We are beginning to recover.

As the forest once again grows back into a living habitation, we re-enter life. But the forest has changed. Never again will it look or be completely the same. It must start over with what it has. And we have changed too. Never again will ife be quite the same - we will always be very different people because of our loss. We parents will always carry the burning embers of that forest fire within our hearts - they are eternal embers and memories which will be with us forever. Sometimes, they will be fanned back into flames again - by difficult days such as birthdays, anniversaries, the birth of a friend's baby or the first day of school. These are like grass fires, usually not very destructive but they can make you feel out of control.

After a long time, the forest is blooming and beautiful and full of life once again. How soon this occurs depends a lot on the climate and nutrients available to the land. We all reach this point at different times and stages. Each of us works through our grief in different ways because we all life in different climates. Some have more support available, some are stuck for a while in various stages, other find a faith in God to be of great help.

But wherever you are right now. I want to offer a word of hope and encouragement to you and that is - life is still good. We have lived through an event that most of have probably considered to be the worst thing that could ever happen to us. But we survived. We can recover. We can grow as people. Those eternal embers we carry in our hearts are sorrow. How would it be if those embers would ignite into our lives a new sense of compassion, sensitivity toward others and a new love and appreciation for life?