I have a guy question? Options

[Nalgi]

I'm trying to be sensitive about my question but I have to ask.

Some friends of ours lost their baby recently (stillborn). Yesterday the Grandmother pulled out pictures of the stillborn and showed them to us like they were a normal thing. I know how tramatic this has been to the family (first grandchild) But I thought it was macabre showing pictures of a stillborn. My wife saw nothing wrong with it and said she would do the same.

Am I missing something?

[Elisha]

I'm trying to be sensitive about my question but I have to ask.

Some friends of ours lost their baby recently (stillborn). Yesterday the Grandmother pulled out pictures of the stillborn and showed them to us like they were a normal thing. I know how tramatic this has been to the family (first grandchild) But I thought it was macabre showing pictures of a stillborn. My wife saw nothing wrong with it and said she would do the same.

Am I missing something?

My son was stillborn a year ago on March 18th due to a cord injury. He had some tearing on his cheeks and discoloration, and I was a little uncomfortable with others seeing the pictures that we took of him. But we had a photographer come in from Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep who took pictures of our family and of him alone. She touched them up to where he just looks as if he was sleeping. I have them displayed in my home and in photo albums that I share with others and I am very proud of them. I even sent his picture on our Christmas cards because he looked so angelic, and I wanted to share with others my son whom I would never get to share in any other way because he wasn't with us anymore.

I can't explain the feeling that happens to a mother who has been carrying this little child in her womb, who has made plans and preparations to take care of and raise this child, and who has fallen in love with this child from the moment she found out she was pregnant then all of a sudden it is all over. It is the most helpless feeling and a loss that can't be expressed. When I lost my son, all I wanted to do was talk about him because I wanted everyone to know that he existed. I would never have thought that one day I would be so anxious to show others my son's headstone, but I am because he existed and I want everyone to know that. I can only imagine what this sweet mom is going through just losing her baby. I can only say from my own experience that I wanted everyone to know that I had a son and one day I will have him back. We moms do whatever it takes to get through it and if that means showing off pictures of our babies then that is what we do, but every experience and every mom is different.

Even though it might seem strange to you, know that everyone handles these situations differently in order to heal. You will never know until you experience it yourself, and I don't wish that on my worst enemy. Honestly, I would have thought it was strange as well if I hadn't gone through it myself. I am in a support group with other moms who have lost their babies, and we all do things differently but thats okay...whatever it takes to heal.

I hope this helps and truly I don't think you are being insensitive.

Elisha

[Nalgi]

I'm sorry for your loss. It's hard to fully understand what a woman feels since I will never be pregnant. Your explanation makes alot of sense. I hope your healing comes quickly and that the Gospel can help you and your family.

[mina's_mom_a...]

I agree with Elisha we all do things differently, however, my husband will not show anyone pictures of our daughter he feel that because people might think badly their not worthy....me have a different way of viewing things, we find comfort in sharing, men don't always. Most of his family don't even aknowlege our angels, and that's ok , yet mine do but only to a point that's ok too, whatever they need to do, i love to talk about my angels and share them with anyone who asks. Thanks for asking most people don't

[Elisha]

I'm sorry for your loss. It's hard to fully understand what a woman feels since I will never be pregnant. Your explanation makes alot of sense. I hope your healing comes quickly and that the Gospel can help you and your family.

Thanks. I am at peace with it, but I miss him incredibly. I hope your friend is doing okay.